UNLIKELY MESSENGERS

A few weeks back I found myself planning a very tight couple of days as I headed to David’s Tent at the end of last month. For those that don’t know, David’s Tent is the slice of heaven that we get to encounter every August Bank Holiday weekend (bar the odd plandemic that is) for 72 hours of nonstop worship - in glorious West Sussex. So there I was all set to do several key things before I packed to make my way down there on the Tuesday afternoon.

Time was of essence and I really did not need anything to go wrong. So imagine my slight distress when my brother knocks as my front door the day before I am due to leave to spend this week at DT and he informs me that he has had a break up with his girlfriend and so she shall not be able to look after my cat Bella while I’m at DT! And I’m like whaaaaatttt???! Nonononononooooo. That’s just not feasible Ajay (that’s his name) cause I just can’t leave Bella with anyone else!! Sock horror. And if Claire can’t look after Bella then I’m just not going to be able to go anywhere. And I’m going to let so many people down. Panic panic. Please Aj have mercy on me!!

My brother graciously relents to all my begging and says fine - she’ll have to stay with you then. And so she does. Claire comes over about an hour later and she is so distressed. Any chance of packing or getting through my vital list of things to do completely goes out of the window and I just sit with her as she grieves about my brother. And as inconvenient as it all is, I am just so grateful that she is still going to be able to look after Bella that the least I can do is sit and comfort her.

The beautiful thing is that as we are talking, I share with Claire that she basically needs Jesus. That even if she reconciles things with my brother life will never be truly free and fulfilling until she surrenders her heart to the Lord. And so amazingly she does. She accepts Jesus’ beautiful gift of eternal life and invites Him into her heart. We spend the next few hours talking about a fresh start for her, praying together and just having a real little heavenly lovefest.

That evening as I sit on my bed in utter awe of the way Jesus comforted Claire and brought her healing and eternal life I am weeping with joy. My little kitty cat Bella is with me. And suddenly I am so moved by the realisation that Jesus used a cat to bring Claire into His love. All along He knew that it would be so important for Claire to look after Bella and that this would open the door to her actually inviting Him into her heart and starting a relationship with Jesus. That blows my mind. Through my tears and my awe I stroke my beautiful Bella and tell her that she is a minister of reconciliation and that she has just won her first soul for Jesus. Wow. i think that’s actually so crazy exciting and I love it.

Sooooooo basically, if Jesus can used a cat to bring someone into the kingdom surely He can use anyone?

So many people shrink back from evangelising or being available for the Lord to use them - they disqualify themselves for all kinds of reasons and they believe the lie of the enemy that they aren’t bold enough, or spiritual enough or biblically illiterate enough. Or a gazillion other reasons. When the bottom line is that none of that matters. All the Lord is looking for is availability. Obedience. He will cause us to be the catalyst for someone’s eternal salvation if we are simply willing to stop our plans and pause our to do lists and just let Him use us. If we are willing to be ready messengers of the ONLY one true message that this world truly needs.

Colossians 1:23 (MSG) You stay grounded and steady in that bond of trust, constantly tuned in to the Message, careful not to be distracted or diverted. There is no other Message—just this one. Every creature under heaven gets this same Message. I, INSERT YOUR OWN NAME am a messenger of this Message.

Like I said peeps…if He can use a cat... x

Say Hello To A Few New Collection Pieces

We are pumped to bring you some updates to the Living in Light Sweatshirt Collection.

This new collection of African Printed appliquéd sweatshirts includes powerful and life-giving words in both Hebrew and Hindi!

As with most of our pieces you can have these fabulous sweatshirts customised for you where you choose the word, the sweatshirt colour and the fabric!!

Super fun, life-giving and personal right?

We decided to throw in a new dungaree too.

Find all the new pieces here.

ACCESS ALL AREAS

Access All Areas. A familiar term to us all. A term commonly used on backstage passes where the bearer has unrestricted access to all areas of the venue. Access available ONLY to those with particular privileges. 

For me, the most familiar experience of AAA is the phenomenal worship festival David's Tent hosted in both the UK and the USA. Usually I’m serving in a capacity that gives me access to all areas including the Guest lounge where we find world renowned musicians like the Bethel guys, Housefires, VIP guests and speakers. It’s where all the posh food is, the big fridge with the lush drinks. There is an endless supply of goodies, the speciality coffee is found here along with the lush meals and the delish desserts. Here divine connections are birthed, cultivated and strengthened. Deep chats long into the night happen in this privileged space, ministry opportunities are discovered and dreams are realised. 

Sometimes people get this access because of their gifts, talents, perhaps their stature or their name. Other times folk find themselves enjoying this privileged space because they are serving here or one might simply inherit this access through who they are associated with relationally.

And when you’re there you get to wear these fabulous white and gold wristbands that say AAA. These royal looking wristbands signify that you have access to the most special places at David‘s Tent. It also indicates that you have closest proximity to the main stage where the altar is. These wristbands are coveted by most and anyone who wears one or sees one recognises it’s a privilege, a luxury and ab utter blessing to be given this kind of access and to have access to all the fringe benefits that come with this wristband. 

And when I consider that we as believers in Christ, get to wear these invisible bloodstained wristbands that give us access all areas to the most a holy throne of God, with a mind-blowing spiritual inheritance and all the heavenly benefits that come with the territory I shake my head in disbelief.

 Yet I am amazed at how often I overlook and fail to cherish the privilege, the honour, the great wonder and awe associated with having access all areas to Jesus - the most famous, most celebrated, most glorious, the richest, most talented, most loving, most attractive, most powerful person to ever exist; to GOD. To whom there is no rival. No comparison. He transcends above ALL. God Almighty. God Supreme. Flawless and Love Personified.

 In this sermon I unpack our propensity to dilute, ignore and disregard the incredible privilege we have to be able to come boldly and fearlessly into God’s presence as royal priests, the children of God and as the bride of Christ. I unpack a little the beauty, worth and weighty privilege of God’s presence and how failing to absolutely enjoy the fullness of this glorious access is daylight robbery because we were created, saved and redeemed to draw near to God and Jesus is worthy of our utter devotion and nearness. Not only that, He woos us closer even when we don’t deserve it, never withholding His glorious presence from us. Always beckoning us to His banqueting table despite our fragilities and frailties.

Oh how beautiful, winsome and delightful is He? I pray that as you watch this sermon that you will be stirred to draw ever closer to the One who gave it all so that we could draw near.

x

The Authority Of Intimacy

About ten days ago I had the most beautiful encounter with God. I was super tired. Too mash to get out of bed I knew my usual routine of hanging out with Jesus was just not gonna happen that morning. Instead I found myself grabbing my phone and reading the Bible lying down with barely any energy or zeal. Wondering how I was going to intercede for all the prayers I knew needed lifting up for some very time sensitive situations I just signed and began to read, thinking to myself that the best I can do right now is just pick up my phone.

Yet what followed was such a sweet, intimate, powerful, throne room experience that totally busted hell open. And it was all inside of Psalm 23 (TPT):

“The Lord is my best friend and my shepherd. I always have more than enough. He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love. His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quiet brook of bliss. That’s where he restores and revives my life. He opens before me pathways to God’s pleasure and leads me along in his footsteps of righteousness so that I can bring honour to his name. Lord, even when your path takes me through the valley of deepest darkness, fear will never conquer me, for you already have! You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way.

Your authority is my strength and my peace. The comfort of your love takes away my fear. I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.5 You become my delicious feast even when my enemies dare to fight. You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit; you give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows.6 So why would I fear the future? For your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life. Then afterward, when my life is through, I’ll return to your glorious presence to be forever with you!”

In a beautiful spiritual adventure I hang out in Jesus’ luxurious love inside of this chapter and it blasted me. I grew in experiential understanding of God’s Word, His nature, His Kingdom and I got so restored. All while I was chilling in bed. Quite delicious really. But also very powerful. Full of authority. Rooted in intimacy with the King.

I’d love to take you on this heavenly journey because I think it will bless your socks off like it did mine. Join me for the adventure here.

Racing Towards Revival

Sometimes Magic Is Messy | Jessica Paschke

When I first became a Christian, I prayed for revival lots. I would weep with a desperate burden for the world to know Jesus. I would imagine what that could look like. Over the next fifteen years, my love for the Lord and His kingdom grew massively. I lived a vibrant life of regularly sharing the love of God with the lost. Often in the darkest of places. Yet somehow I stopped racing towards revival. I stopped pressing in for an outpouring of God’s Spirit. Stopped pressing in for the knowledge of God’s glory to cover the earth, as the waters cover the seas.

Content Without Revival?

I am not sure why I stopped expecting a great awakening. Or why my fervent petitions to see revival across the earth waned. Perhaps I got complacent, preoccupied with my calling and other things. Maybe I was just content with my lifestyle of evangelism. I mean let’s face it, it was stretching enough, partnering with heaven to share the gospel one person, one people group or one community at a time. Honestly speaking, the pursuit of a global outpouring was rarely on my prayer list. And only when God would move upon my heart, would I find myself crying out for it.

Or perhaps it was because I had simply come to accept the increasing darkness in this antichrist world. Deep down in my conscience perhaps I had resolved, that Jesus was going to be the world’s best kept secret until rapture kicked in. And only then, would people all over the earth would realise He was God. And as much as I hated that God’s sovereignty wasn’t seen by the world, I would comfort myself with biblical anticipation, that one day the weeds would indeed be separated from the tares. Of course, it was unlikely to happen on my watch but one day there would be such a mighty outpouring of God’s Spirit, right?!

Revival Reawakened!

Yet I must confess, that I stand delightfully corrected. Because I have had my mind radically renewed! In the midst of last year's shaking - as I navigated through the pressures, the pressing and the pandemic I found myself utterly reawakened to revival! Not just the possibility of a global outpouring but the utterly delicious anticipation of its imminence. You see, in the tempest that was 2020, pulled away from the distractions and deception of what life had become and drawn into the solitude of God’s heart, I found myself face to face with the reality of God’s kingdom afresh – and REVIVAL is ABSOLUTELY on God’s heart. And saints...it must also be indelibly etched upon ours.

We are without a shadow of doubt on the cusp of a great awakening. And when it arrives, I for one, want to be smack bang in the centre of it. I don’t want to be a mere spectator. A bystander. Someone who observes from the fringes. No, I want to be one that burns for it. Carries God’s heart for it. One who partners with heaven for it. Who stands in the gap for it. Gets on her face for it and cries out daily for it. Ceaselessly anticipates it and wholeheartedly prepares for it.

You see, I believe we are about to witness a move of God that will astound us…where the works of darkness will be exposed, evil will be uprooted and the harvest will come flooding in. We will witness an outpouring of God’s spirit upon all men. Old men will dream dreams. Young men will see visions. Sons and daughters will prophecy and the knowledge of God’s glory will very tangibly cover the earth, as the waters cover the seas.

It's Our Time...

As great heroes of faith who have gone before us, saw God’s glory fill the earth in their time - I sincerely believe that we are about to see it in our time. The circumstances that we find ourselves in, these present time appear on the surface, to be the hindrances to an outpouring in our midst, but the shaking, the purging, the pruning, the humbling and the seeking God's face in repentance and prayer are in fact the very necessary ingredients that must be in the mix, before an awakening shows up.

But we must yield ourselves and perceive what God wants to do in our midst. We must choose to carry God’s heart and partner with Him as those who are called by His name, running our race with perseverance and endurance. As ones, who so deeply recognise that we are mere pilgrims here on earth, with a heavenly mandate. On divine assignments. And each and every one of us is called to not only run our race but to be in it to win it - just as the Author and Finisher of our faith Jesus, our eternal example - ran his race before us - and for us:

“We look away from the natural realm and we fasten our gaze onto Jesus who birthed faith within us and who leads us forward into faith’s perfection. His example is this: Because his heart was focused on the joy of knowing that you would be his, he endured the agony of the cross and conquered its humiliation, and now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God!” (Hebrews 12:2 AMP)

Yesterday's Athlete's Spurring Us On…

We read in the great faith chapter of Hebrews 11, of precious saints that have gone before us,. They were all flawed, just like we are. But because God was with them, they were found racing towards revival, keeping their eyes fixed on Jesus, as their prize. Beyond anything that we could ever even imagine, they faced death, endured martyrdom, experienced extreme persecution, wars, famine, darkness, evil and depravity. Yet they persevered by faith. Wow. May we rejoice at their great exploits and be encouraged by them. For their triumphant races are undeniable, reverberating testimonies of God’s faithfulness throughout history.

But now it’s our turn, racing towards revival. And they are witness to us. Cheering us on.

The Reward That Was Set Before Him

This is our time saints, to step it up as the courageous, unblemished, bride of Christ. "To run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us." Not despising the agony, the persecution and the opposition that comes with our race. But courageously racing towards revival, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus – our glorious prize. The very Author and Finisher of our faith. So that Christ would indeed receive His inheritance. He would receive the reward that was set before Him, when He endured the Cross. So that we could be His. x

Watch the full sermon Racing Towards Revival.

A Heart Full Of Hope With Stephen James Hart

Exactly one month ago, on a drive back from beautiful, but rather rainy Wales, I was introduced to Stephen James Hart. A friend had heard him speak at Bethel Church in Redding a few years back and had been impacted by his raw vulnerability, his testimony and by his heart. You should listen, she told me! And so on our drive home we both had a little listen. I’m so glad we did. Stephen spoke with a passion and a resolve that was powerful but tender. 

Even more than that, I found myself amazed and totally encouraged to hear someone who thought very similar to me when it comes to sexuality, to restoration and the role of the church. Like seriously, it was like reading the chapter on restoration straight out of my book Sacred Sexuality! I love that. I love that God can touch two people’s hearts that are completely unconnected, in different parts of the world, with different backgrounds and sexual histories yet who have the same facet of God’s heart unveiled to them.

And so, listening to him share his heart on that drive back to London, I just knew that I wanted to invite Stephen to chat to me for a Living in Light Podcast episode soon to be recorded, about Sexual Restoration. And so I did. Sent him a little (well a very long actually) email. And he said yes! And he was so wonderful to connect with. Chatting to him about his journey of restoration…one that is still very much a beautiful and raw work in progress - was a joy and very powerful. And I know you are going to love listening to our two part convo in episodes 20/21 of the Living in Light Podcast. 

One of the things that blessed me massively about Stephen was his diligence. His heart to be rooted in conviction, to share with precision and to stay focused whilst at the same time having a beautiful openness to the Spirit of God was a delight to observe. And part of that diligence included him penning the responses to the questions I sent him with such faithfulness, attention and value. Taking time to do this with such care. And that speaks volumes about not just his heart, but also his integrity and his desire to be a faithful vessel with his story and to never simply take his experiences or his understanding of them for granted. I think God really honours that kind of cherishing of the things of God and diligence.

And those precious answers, that he so diligently dug deep for, journeyed with God for and searched his heart for - are found right here, because his desire is to not only be completely free but his heart is to powerfully liberate others along the way. And so, as God shine’s the magnifying glass on Stephen’s open heart - and as he yields to the process - and reflects on his own journey of sexual brokenness and unfolding divine restoration, he invites us into the journey.

May his journey bless you massively. And may his liberation bring liberty to your own process. May all that God has been doing in Stephen for God’s own glory, bless your socks off, as it has mine. x

Read Stephen’s thought provoking responses about his sexual journey and finding restoration in Christ here.

Find out more about the lovely Stephen Hart James.

He Grows His Roses On Our Barren Souls

He grows His Roses On Our Barren Souls.

These gorgeous words come from a song that I’ve been listening to nonstop and in this season, they have become to me, a sweet anthem for my soul. This morning, I found these lyrics releasing a fresh melody of deliciousness into the atmosphere, as I read about Jesus’ crucifixion in the Gospels. As my thoughts lingered on each verse, I began to consider all the saints that had been raised from the dead, the very moment Jesus breathed His last at Calvary. 

I suddenly found myself weeping as I read the account in Matthew, because I was so acutely reminded that God is in the business of making dead things alive. That, because He died, we get to live. Even when we may not even recognise that we are dead. Or when we think we have lost ALL hope. Or even when we don’t even ask God to revive us. 

Yet to abide IN HIM - in the Resurrected One - IS to be FULLY ALIVE. And whether we ask for our dead places to be made alive again or whether we wonder if our dry bones can ever live, or whether we have become comfortable and complacent in our grave clothes…the bottom line is that Jesus takes dead things, dead people, dead situations and makes them alive. Fully ALIVE. 

Even when all hope seems to be gone and even when our souls appear to be too barren to even conceive life. Even then, He is more than able and willing to resurrect every dead thing.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.” Ephesians 2:4-5

I love this scripture. I have hung out in this verse for hours upon hours. It means so much to me, because I regularly find myself reflecting on the corpse that I once was. It’s truly insane to think that I once was a walking, talking, dancing, drug-taking, cigarette-smoking, bed-hopping, provocatively-dressing, makeup-adorning corpse…following the deadly course of this world…driven by sheer darkness and death. 

And then Jesus being so rich in mercy and because of His great love, made me alive. He delivered and drew me to Himself out of the control and the dominion of darkness and transferred me into the kingdom of the Son of His love. It’s still insane to consider that such a thing is even possible. Yet that’s what He does. Because of His great and wonderful love, He resurrects corpses. He makes dead things alive. He miraculously breathes spirit and breathe into the driest of bones, He adds sinew, flesh, skin and makes that which was once dead, ALIVE…FULLY ALIVE.

As you read this post, I don’t know if there are dead places in your heart that need resurrecting today, or situations that seem impossible to resolve or relationships that seem utterly unreconcilable, but may I just remind you of God’s resurrection power and His crazy craaaaaazy love, which is actively working on your behalf today? May I also remind you that NOTHING is ever so dead that Jesus cannot explode it with His resurrection power and His kind intent and grow the most beautiful, sweetest of smelling roses in what might seem like the most barren of souls. x 

Hello Majesty...I almost didn't see You there...

I am not gonna lie, for a while this moment in time had turned into quite the pooey season. Yet praaaaaaise - I find myself, by the sweet sweet grace of God once again, in a fresh place of hope; finding pearls in the pain and discovering fresh vision amongst the cloudiness that had so heavily eclipsed my world for the last six weeks. Not sure if anyone can relate?

I meeeean it all started off SO lush!! I was totally enjoying quarantine. I consider my last blog post and I smile as I ponder in hindsight just how excitedly I had braced myself for the NEW NORMAL. I was soooo expectant that it would be glorious and that there was a place of pressing in that we all needed to embark on in order to hear from God and to partner with heaven.

And that is totally what I did do. Gave myself fully to it. And it was SO glorious. Like I mean it was the stuff the sweetest of dreams were made of. I was in seventh heaven and filled with SUCH expectation! I was literarily blown away with all the hours of praying I was finding myself engaging in - like more than I had ever before. I was so overflowing with soul-joy at the encounters I was having, breaking bread, worshipping Him or simply just experiencing ridiculous delish glorrray in the Word, sometimes before I’d even opened my Bible.

I was captivated, heart full - all guns blazing diving into this 2020 Passover unlike any other we had apparently ever known…the promises of a literal Pentecost were upon us like we never could have imagined. I was praying Joel 2:28-29 all over the place - so so so pumped for what was gonna be unleashed as earth was bracing it self for heaven to show up. I mean in my glorrray bubble COVID-19 seemed like it was happening on another planet - because in my world…with just Jesus, me, my prayers and His presence this was one blissful SELAH season that I just couldn’t get enough of.

And then Pentecost came. And with it, George Floyd’s death. And somehow everything exploded. My world came crashing down. And all this expectation…months of praying and pressing in…and crazy hope…and anticipation for heaven on earth…IT ALL JUST CRASHED! I literally didn’t know what to do.

Suddenly as the darkness of all that’s going on in our world closed in, I had and still have so many mixed feelings about what was going on that I found myself totally unable to pray. I was filled with so much sorrow and disappointment. It’s like my mouth was on mute as my heart ached non-stop.

Everything that I had ever found normal, familiar, safe, stabilising and purposeful fell out from beneath my feet and I found myself out at sea. It went on week after week where I would just weep in God’s presence, devoid of any zeal and filled with such sadness. I just couldn't see God anywhere that I looked. And I mourned His presence in the way I had known it so powerfully only weeks before. I know it sounds so melodramatic but its honestly what was happening in my inners. Everyone kept talking about everything that could be shaken being shaken and it actually felt like that for sure.

But after about a month of this incredibly sucky wilderness, I had a beautiful encounter with Jesus, that shifted things a little. I’d had a beautiful conversation with my bestie the night before, that helped my heart to see a little better and then the next morning I sat in James 1:2-4 where it says “Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.”

And as I studied this passage I came across this amazing story about a young girl called Marie Durant…told by John Piper. In the late 17th century, in southern France, Marie was brought before the authorities and charged with the Huguenot heresy (being a Reformed Protestant). “She was fourteen years old, bright, attractive, marriageable.” She was asked to recant her Huguenot faith. “She was not asked to commit an immoral act, to become a criminal, or even to change the day-to-day quality of her behavior.” She was only asked to say, “I recant.” She refused. Together with thirty other Huguenot women, she was put into a tower by the sea and left there for 38 years. She and her fellow martyrs scratched on the wall of their prison tower the single word, “Resist!” Tourists still see and gape at that word on that stone.”

John Piper then says the following words in this study: “We can understand a religion which enhances time… But we cannot understand a faith which is not nourished by the temporal hope that tomorrow things will be better. To sit in a prison room with thirty others and to see the day change into night and summer into autumn, to feel the slow systemic changes within one’s flesh: the drying and wrinkling of the skin, the loss of muscle tone, the stiffening of the joints, the slow stupefaction of the senses—to feel all this and still to persevere seems almost idiotic to a generation which has no capacity to wait and to endure.”

This mashed me up. It revived me no end. It was so so true right??? Radical hope is a rarity. Hope like this precious one and all the Huguenot women walked in is sheer lunacy to humanity - unless you have an understanding of the beauty, resurrection and crazy comfort that can only come when you recognise that there is a hope that goes far far beyond the temporal…it’s hope that is eternal, and we as believers have the option of being prisoners of it because Christ is within us the hope of glory. And because it’s a hope built upon the Rock, it pierces through the temporary, through the circumstantial - and it sets your feet on solid ground - even in the shakiest of storms.

Jesus then, in that moment of encounter assured me that because I belong to Him and because He lives in me, no matter what - I can always have hope. Eternal hope. And even when a situation seems hopeless and that the poo really has hit the fan…irrespective of what it may look like on the outside, there is ALWAYS eternal hope exploding through even thee most dire of circumstances - if I am willing to see beyond the mess…and peer into the majesty.

He then reminded me that the Cross looked like the greatest defeat of all time. What a sorry situation that would’ve looked like at the time. The perceived mess of Calvary. The utter horror of it. It looked like the enemy had completely won, right? Yet Calvary was exploding with majesty. And then I felt Jesus say to me “Bobbi every moment of every day is pulsating with my majesty and I need you to see it. I need you to focus your eyes and to see…”My majesty in the mess. My majesty in the mediocre. My majesty in the mundane.”

Aaaah Lord!!!! You are just so good. That moment was so life giving. So refreshing. So filled with hope. And then in that same encounter He led me to Hebrews 10:35-36 which has been a proper life verse over this season and He reminded me:

Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward. For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised.

And then once again I was so encouraged, as I am time and time again whenever I get smacked in the face with this scripture that dohhhhhh of course!!!! That’s what I need - I just need steadfast patience and endurance. And so that what I found myself praying and seeking.

Yet if truth be told, even then I struggled to move forward. Smiles. It’s quite crazy really…Because I had fresh hope. I felt fresh comfort. But my prayers remained silent. And I still couldn't see a future ahead of me. I missed praying so much. Yet my heart seemed to be on mute. It’s been such a stubborn season of barrenness. Even when there’s been refreshing its been only temporary. A trickle of respite before the void kicks in again. I feel like during this quarantine there may perhaps be others who can relate.

And then when I thought things couldn’t actually get any harder…God got my attention, told me some home truths and began to do a deep work in my heart. And it was so painful. He broke me. He crushed me. Like totally pressed me and He is still doing it. He showed me stuff in my heart that isn’t pleasing to Him. He showed me I needed to repent. Like whaaaaat?! What a total heartbreak - I mean its quite the shocker when you think the brass ceiling you’re experiencing in your time with God is because of circumstances and then you find out it’s because of your own heart. Aaaaaaahhh so hard.

And so I began to repent. And that’s all I’ve been doing for the last two weeks and after two weeks of being on my face crying out for mercy, I have finally after six weeks found my place in Him again. I had found my voice again. My prayers have returned and my vision is being restored. Gosh, mercy is a beautiful thing. So undeserved. So kind. Yet even as mercy so compassionately saves us from ourselves, she also pours herself out in our places of brokenness, tending to our lost fragmented places:

“I am a never-ending fountain of living water, and I long to pour myself into every dry, cracked, and broken area of your life. Do you feel me now, reaching into your pain with my healing love? Listen, and you’ll hear my rushing river flowing through you as it washes away the debris of confusion and disillusionment, clearing away the dry dusty remains of disappointment so you can clearly see the joy I have in store for you.

No trauma is too great for the power of my love. The biggest gaping holes—the areas of your life that feel empty and void—become openings for me to pour myself into, when you invite me. So invite me, and I will come. I will fill you with myself, turn mourning into joy, replace heaviness with hope, and till the soil of your heart so beauty blooms from the ashes. Drink deeply of my love, and it will transform you—mind, body, and soul. Set your eyes on me today, and offer me your pain once and for all. Swim in my healing waters and allow the currents of my love to lead you into wholeness.”

So so good. I found so much joy in receiving this in my inbox a week ago. I have reread it so many times because it washes over my soul again and again and it feels so comforting. This time round, the refreshing of these words and my fresh places of drinking from God’s presence have lasted and these words have been life. And as I continue to move towards a new place of strength I look back at the last post I put up about the NEW NORMAL where I speak about a purging, a humbling, a suffering so that He may be glorified but actually at that time of writing I have no idea of what i’m about to step into lol. I have no idea that partnering with God isn’t going to look like I thought it would look like. In fact it’s gonna actually suck. Smiles.

Yet I am recognising that the whole while, even as part of this season has been hard and I have wondered how there could have been such a unholy glitch in the heavenly matrix where my sweet selah season got so uncomfortably interrupted with all this heartache and craziness - that I am actually still very much being prepared for this new normal. Even in the crushing, the darkness, the confusion and the cloudiness - even then I am partnering with God for all that He has in store.

And this season may not feel like sexy Christianity where it’s super attractive and makes someone look like they’re living their best life. Nope. Instead it’s humbling and heartbreaking and I don’t know what I’m doing.

Yet even in the not knowing, I’m still headed towards that new normal. And in stark contrast to my last blog video, as I move further along into this unprecedented season, I no longer have any kind of grid of what it’s going to look like. And that is totally okay.

But what I do know is that I don’t want to even step into it until Jesus is done breaking me, shaking me and shaping me. And I certainly don’t want to step into the new with any of my old junk. I’m okay right now, just leaning into the process, praying and envisioning again.

And thankfully…I’m beginning to once again glimpse the glory in the grime and it feels so so sweet.

And for now, that is all the hope that I need…for me to be able to behold even a little of the majesty exploding out of the messy places of my world. x

The New Normal

This quarantine will come to an end. When it does, will we be those who would have simply survived this global glitch in the matrix, expecting to just resume life as normal. Or will we be those who recognise that things will never return back to normal post COVID-19 and that God has allowed the reset button to be pressed in each and every one of our lives to establish a new normal.

And this new normal that is imminently arriving for each and every one of us - has the divine capacity to be a personalised, heavenly blueprint for each individual, prayerfully carved out in the solitude compelled by this quarantine, found within the hidden places of intimacy and communion with God - as we choose to use this time well.

This is not a time to be a mere spectator. It is not a time to drink from the spiritual wells of another person’s pursuit of God. And as powerful and precious as the counsel and prophetic revelations of those that hear from God are, they simply cannot replace our own pursuit, to press in and hear from God for ourselves in His Word, in prayer and communion - so that we can truly know what His new normal for each and every one of us.

May we not settle for second hand direction during these glorious times when God is calling us partner with Him and to walk with Him in the closest of unions. May we be intimately acquainted with the plans and purposes the He has for us as we allow Him to divinely direct us out of this unprecedented season into our promised land.

x

Sierra Leone Trip 2020

I was pleasantly surprised to find myself returning to Sierra Leone so quickly after my pretty recent visit there last year! This time I was invited out there to speak at Sierra Leone’s very first Breakthrough Conference! I have had the honour of speaking at several London Breakthrough Conferences and to be taken out there to speak at their Sierra Leonian launch was such an honour! And a treat!

I was blown away by the generosity and favour I received! Not only was the whole trip paid for, but I was then additionally blessed financially by different people including folks out there. Like whaaaat? It was such a lavish blessing!

Not only did God smash the socks out of Sierra Leone at the conference but I was also able to spend a couple of days back at Living Seeds with the Flourish designers and see how they are getting along. I meeeean what a treat! It was such a joy to see them and be with them. It’s like I never left. They literally explode my heart with such joy.

The ministry trip ended with a glorious day at the beach simply getting our chill on and it was so lush. Being out there for just over a week was a beautiful getaway with eternal weight and a kiss from heaven…filled with SONshine. I made a vlog of my time out there. Feel free to watch it here.

Music: Silver by Moby. Courtesy of Mobygratis.com.