"For me the only things of interests are those linked to the heart"
― Audrey Hepburn
Image from http://wallpaperswa.com
Forever Secure
A life truly lived by faith…
is an adventure none of us can afford to miss this side of eternity…
it's where the real excitement is…where the deepest joy of hope is experienced…
it's where destiny perfectly unfolds whilst we abandon ourselves to simply trusting…
refusing to settle for what's comfortable…secure…familiar…ordinary…
striving instead…for the unknown…the impossible…the dangerous…
…leaving behind all that we've ever relied upon…
risking absolutely everything…
in order to be truly secure…
Running on Reserves
I'm really bad when it comes to refilling my petrol tank on time…I see that orange light flashing, informing me that I need to refuel - and most often than not, although it completely registers in my mind…I still find myself waiting another 15 miles or so before I actually fill up my petrol tank again. Now if I was doing this occasionally then haaaay it's not really a big deal - I'm sure my motor could cope with my negligence and wouldn't really be affected…but you see I'm doing this on the regs, despite knowing full well that the reserve fuel is there to keep the low pressure pump cool and prevent it from overheating…yet nevertheless I'm ignoring the warning signs and seeing how long I can wing it before I REALLY REALLY need to refuel. So basically, because of my laziness and negligence I'm totally mashing up my fuel pump in the long run - which ultimately will end up costing me dearly, unless I sort it out and start refueling on time! Hmmm…note to self…fix up missy…smiles.
We sometimes do the very same with the presence of God.
Image from: http://wallpaperswa.com
We get internal warnings that we're running on empty…whether it's because things have got really busy, or because we're distracted or anxious…maybe because we're tired and demotivated…or simply because we're just being plain old lazy about spending quality time drinking from the well of God's presence…whatever the reason may be, the fact is that we're operating on an empty tank…we're not tanked up with the joy and peace and hope and creativity that can only truly be birthed in God's presence…and so we're running on reserves and often times seeing how long we can wing it…some run on reserves for a day…some do it for a week or a month and some even do it as a lifestyle…
Soooo…instead of practicing the habit of being refueled in God regularly so that we can truly operate at our best…we sometimes allow ourselves to settle for the reserves, rather than the irreplaceable refreshing that can only be found in the fullness of God's presence…somehow convincing ourselves that running on reserves will be sufficient…thinking a weekly worship service or corporate prayer here and there…will keep us afloat…but just like with my motor…even though I might think I've gotten away with it because I managed to get petrol, in the nick of time, before the car broke down - I still don't actually have any idea of what's happening behind the scenes deep inside the core of my car and I probably won't find out til later the actual damage that my lack of discipline and negligence has caused…and so it sometimes is with us…we choose to learn the hard way…sometimes it takes a break down…a disaster…an internal explosion or some sort of soul revealing encounter to show us how desperately dry we have become.
Because you see, running on reserves may for a time seem sufficient…but sufficiency isn't abundance…and we are called to lives of abundancy (John 10:10)…and in no other area is abundance more significant than in regards to the Presence…for out of the presence flows EVERY SINGLE THING pertaining to LIFE (Ezekiel 47).
So let's not compromise…let's not settle for less…let's not drink with a straw from the dregs of the barrel when we have the entire ocean at our disposal…
…Let’s determine in our hearts to take a trip down to the river each day.
Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time. ~Deborah Chaskin
Fly in your Own Time...
Time and time again we find ourselves hungry for far more than what we are seeing…wanting to eagerly experience all the juicy stuff, the big things…the pain free and loved up times…but the journey involved in getting there is actually where the true treasure is…without the process of it all, and the growth of character, how can we ever even be fully equipped to effectively handle all the good stuff that's coming our way.
So just like the caterpillar, we have to, during these challenging times of waiting - be completely content with being in the dark…in no man's land…in a cocoon, uncomfortable and restless…yet obediently allowing the slow and painful metamorphosis of transition to take place - being open and willing to let the process unfold without any assistance whatsoever (eek!) on our part - being so very careful that our zeal or impatience doesn't frustrate the process and ultimately distort the results of what is taking place behind the scenes…
We have to do this, so that in due time…just like the butterfly we too will awaken…and our patience…hope…perseverance and endurance will surely pay off because when it finally happens…
…it will be simply beautiful…x x x
Enjoying the Wait...
Stillllllllll loving Janette's fresh and seriously funny approach to waiting for "the one"…I know I've posted her link before…but some things are just worth the ol' rewind selector…!!
Soooo lets get real…if you're still waiting for "the one" then I'm betting that its definitely a regular place of soulsearching for you…so many factors to consider…serious thoughts…deep questions i'm sure you're asking yourself whilst on this journey of waiting…like…oooooh my gosh…am I even ready to even settle down?…Am I any closer to being the Proverbs 31 woman?…Am I emotionally, mentally, physically and financially stable enough to enter into a marriage…? What am I even doing to prepare for marriage? How am I dealing with delay…and the idea that my biological clock is tick tick ticking away in the meanwhile…??
How about if I am spiritually mature enough?…or am I willing to live for someone else and share my life with another? Does God have someone specific in mind for me…? How committed am I to waiting for him? How confident in God am I that my husband will actually find me?…Do I already know him?…and if I do then how do I feel about that…What if my husband is not physically what I like..or is even a wee bit of a pleb…hehe? Is my security in God or in getting hitched…Why do I even want to get married…? And what am I prepared to settle for…? Am I prepared to wait for the best and to keep telling all the jokers out there to get stepping???
Wow…questions…questions…questions…but all soooooooooo relevant…and if you're already getting to the heart of all the necessary probing and addressing these issues then game on to you…if you're not asking yourself any of these questions and just assuming that you're ready to tie the knot just because you're old enough…or you're eager for a wedding…or simply because you want a shag…then "steady on mate"…and lets actually think seriously about all the commitment involved eh?! Smiles…
All I can say my little lollipops is…let's consider the answers to these questions - but refuse to live in search of them…let's totaaally enjoy the wait…focusing wholeheartedly on God, and upon being the very best person that we have been called to be…living life LARGE and joyfully continuing on with this crazy, mad adventure called destiny…totally seizing each day, with eternity in mind…and when "the one" finally shows up…trust me…we'll be soooo ready…and it won't be because we focused on "the waiting for Mr or Mrs Right" but because we were busy living life to the max to fulfil a destiny that is far far faaaaaaaaaaaaaar bigger than just marriage…
x x x
Cartwheel Anyone?
2011 has been a truly incredible year for me…so full of God's Love, His Goodness and Faithfulness…His Power and Provision…I have grown and grown and grown on so many accounts…but maaaaan I gotta say hand on (broken) heart (lol) it has also been a flipping painful year. A crazy year where I have felt like I have been thrown in a superfast washing machine…on the highest speed setting…where I have endured a highly aggressive, hot, pre-wash cycle where all the dirt and hardcore grime has been removed…and I've had untold rinses and spins at different paces and temperatures…and still I don't even know if I am anywhere near the last cycle - let alone when I will eventually come out super laundered and smelling yummy!! Haha!
Seriously - when I entered this year I was like Yaaay…destiny…greatness… crazy faith…blah blah blah…I had it all worked out in my head and I WAS READDDDY!! Soooooooo hilarious. But obviously it didn't work out like that!! Hehe! Don't get me wrong - the spiritual progress I have made upon my high places has been mindblowing!! When I think of all that God has perfected in me and helped me overcome and apply in my life I am seriously h.u.m.b.l.e.d. Yet with all that I have learnt and encountered and been trained by in 2011…I still find myself coming to the very last day of this truly significant year feeling a little bit battered and bruised from the painful process of it all! And oh me gosh - the process is still not finished yet!!! Eek! And as I enter 2012 - a year so momentous, significant and promise filled…how will I walk into it without wondering if this new year is just going to be more of the intensely bittersweet training, purging and pruning that 2011 has bought me…
No matter what, the biggest part of me will always perceive every new day, new month and certainly every new year with an innate sense of anticipation, joy and hope that invariably comes from being saved, loved and freed by an Eternally Faithful and Loving Father - who I know will do exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or imagine for each one of us - therefore I am more than expectant of superfabulousness in 2012 and the amazingness that it will bring. Yet if truth be told, there was actually a little whisper in my head causing the experiences of 2011 to almost disable me from entering into the new year with cartwheels and somersaults - instead I felt sober and calmly hopeful but not tooooo excited in case it just brought more of the same fiery, heart breaking trials of the previous year - and so rather than cartwheeling, a small part of me almost felt more like I was going to be limping into the new year…
BUT THAT WAS BEFORE THE MOMENTOUS MOMENT THIS AFTERNOON! Hehe! Soooo there I was feeling like a wounded lamb…corny but cute… no seriously…if you don't know why there's images of Jesus with a lamb all over the place…let me share…because when I heard about the reasons behind the image, it totally summed that whole year up for me! I had heard Joyce Meyer share this a few days earlier - you gotta love a bit of Joyce don't ya…anyhoo the story behind the lamb being held by Jesus in all the cute picturesque scenes is based on a practice carried out by shepherds - apparently when they want to train the lamb to stay close and not duck out on the Shepherd, he breaks the lamb's legs and the lamb can't walk or go anywhere - and during the entire healing process the shepherd carries the lamb around with Him, up close and personal and tends to the lamb causing it to become so utterly dependent on the shepherd, that it would never ever want to be away from the shepherd even when it's broken limbs heal again. When I heard that I was like "oh my gosh that's me…I'm the lamb…I AM THE LAMB!!!!!" Rather melodramatic I know…but it all made sense - because here I was being carried by the Good Shepherd, so close to Him…so dependent on Him yet feeling wounded and in pain because I felt like all me little limbs had been broken. So I went to God with this feeling of brokenness this afternoon on the very last day of this year and I sat ready…waiting for Him to speak to me because I really just couldn’t bear entering even a new day let alone a new year with all these wounds…do you know what I mean? And really needing a shift in my mindset I asked Him to speak to me through the Bible.
And this is what Abba Gorgeous Almighty showed me…
Hebrews: 12:11-13:
For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness--in conformity to God's will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God]. So then, brace up and reinvigorate and set right your slackened and weakened and drooping hands and strengthen your feeble and palsied and tottering knees, And cut through and make firm and plain and smooth, straight paths for your feet [yes, make them safe and upright and happy paths that go in the right direction], so that the lame and halting [limbs] may not be put out of joint, but rather may be cured.
(NIV: No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.)
And then He spoke this in to my heart:
Yes Bobs I know that you feel as if you have wounded limbs, but it's all good in the Christhood - because I am carrying you and will meet your every need. And even though the process of training can be a total bummer- full of pain and discomfort - what happens as a result of that process is truly magnifique!! Though this time of discipline is not pleasant, you have to find comfort in the fruit that you will bear as a result of this process. You will be conformed to my will. It will bring your heart, mind, soul and deeds into right standing with me. But I want you to be invigorated and erect, to stand firm and be strengthened so that your path in this process will be smooth and not crooked. Let your path be happy - have the right attitude - and go in the right direction - because if you slack and become weak your healing limbs will be put out of joint and in this position the lame can be disabled longer than necessary. But if you let me perfect a work in you and choose to be reinvigorated and strengthened as I lead you in this process then you will find that the wounds and brokenness that have caused you to be lame, will heal smoothly and be totally cured!
Yippeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Instant mind renewal!! How amazing is that? God is just so Beautiful!! I love how He is always so real. So ready to help you in your time of need and how in a split second He will just flip turn the script and change your way of thinking!! So YAAAY I didn't have to go into 2012 limping! On the contrary - I had a choice to enter into the new year strengthened and rejuvenated in God. I had the full assurance that in God ordained processes He always makes provision for the wounds too. So I am strengthened. I stand firm. Suddenly I am ready for whatever 2012 will bring - even if it simply more of the same, because ultimately it is all worth it and after all, He works all things together for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purposes…
And get this - the glorious beauty of it isn't that He is going to lead me through the coming year (that’s a given) but the beauty is that He is with me in my moment of need…in my NOW…the ever-present help… carrying me…leading me moment by moment…I realised afresh that I don't need to work out the year ahead with God…I just have to breath Him in NOW…being filled…consumed and possessed by all that He is…in this very moment…LIVING IN THE MOMENT WITH HIM & NOT WASTING A SINGLE SECOND…after all isn't that what days…years and entire lifetimes are made of?…Moments?
OH Wow…Smiles…I think I feel a cartwheel coming on…x
Turn on the Light
Often times we think we have no choice but to stay in darkness…not realising Light would illuminate all our darkness in a split second – if only we choose to turn it on…x
Turn on the Light...
Anticipating the adventure...
Okay sooooooooooo I have no money...seriously none...my savings have run out...hehehe...and I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring!! I have no idea where I am heading and having left the security of a full time job three months ago...I do not actually have a pay check coming in any time soon...hahahaha...
In the middle of this hoo haa credit crunch this nation seems to be involved in...there I am still not looking for work...or even considering working for anybody ever again...hmmmm...anyhoo...left, right and centre, I'm hearing about all the price increases...the petrol...the budget cuts...the doom and gloom...sighs galore...
Obviously if I didn't know God as my Source I’d too be kaking myself...if you don't know God you should be worried...however because I do know God and His Faithfulness...I'm expectant...and confident...so I am about to go for it with my fun lil business venture (http://www.livinginlight.co.uk/) by launching the next collection (during the next few hours...expect an email...woohoo) rather than do something safe and secure...
I am quite aware that because my savings have now totally been rinsed I have nothing to fall back on if the business doesn't work...or if the workshops I want to start up don't kick off...in the natural it would seem that I'll have NOTHING! Hahahaha...
BRILLIANT ISN'T IT???!
I KNOW!!! I've totally been pondering my position of seemingly having nothing...reflecting upon the last few incredible months of my life...marvelling at my recent adventure of taking all that I have had in my hands and known in my heart and having sown it to the best of my ability...reminiscing over the last three months...just loving the joy of waking up each day in a bubble of leisurely bliss...spending time in worship, enjoying the freedom of just being...without structure or direction in my life yet being the most productive I have EVER been...creating day after day...writing...drawing...designing and sewing...breaking and mending things...building and constructing...growing and flourishing...investing and re-investing into all that I can see in my hands...all with a passion and resolution unlike anything I have ever known...
Sigh...and now I have done all that I can for now...sown all that is in my hands...I have prayed...I have believed...and I have joyfully exhausted it all...and now it would seem I have NOTHING left...smiles...
As I write this I smile...hahaha...because despite me having the time of my life over the last three months...this is actually where the real fun begins...this place of me having nothing left in my hands...this here is the ultra cool part...this is when I sit back because I've done all I can...hoping that I have been faithful with what small I was given, and now all that remains is for me to watch the next phase of the adventure kick in...the beauty of destiny unfolding exceedingly abundantly above anything I could ever ask or imagine...deliciously unwrapping before my very eyes...whatever it might me...maybe it will be the website or it won't...maybe the workshops...maybe the other things God's put in my heart...may be He'll tell me to get a job working for some one...I dunno...I really don't...I just know that it's gonna be good...whatever it's gonna be...it's gonna be really really good...
Hahahaha...to me that's totally what adventurous living is all about...xx
A little bit of fun from the new Living in Light Jewellery range. x
Jun Ai...True Love
Soooooooooooo I went to the House of Lords to see a Film screening...An Angel Award winning Japanese film called Jun Ai...obviously I made sure I looked half decent seeing as I wanted to look nice for all the Lords, Earls and Ladies...and at the same time I wanted to avoid getting arrested or raising any suspicions...i'm serious...smiles...the amount of police presence at Parliment always makes me think they'll arrest someone just to kill time...its funny how there's always far more police than visitors...but don't ya just love our uniformed angels...always without fail soooo polite and cute...bless our nations 5.O!!!
Sooooo this film Jun Ai...Oh me gosh...definitely a fab watch...set in the 40's in China when Japan invaded them and the Chinese were mistreated by the Japanese military hardcore...but there were Japanese refugees that fled to China for safety who then had to deal with the hatred of the Chinese...anyhoo the film looks at the relationship between a Chinese man and Japanese woman and how true love overcomes everything...a real heart-warming story which also raises awareness about childbirth and the poor conditions in which babies are delivered around the world...seriously moving...thought provoking for sure!
Keiko Kobayasi
See the thing was this though...it wasn't the film so much that moved me...but the heart behind it... Keiko Kobayasi, the woman who produced the film also starred in it...and we met the entire cast who were promoting the film...obviously people promote their films...but they were doing so, not from a place of selfish gain but as a vessel to promote peace across nations...wow...they were truly seeking to promote JUN AI...True love...man...that enlarged my heart...this lovely lady is going around the world with this beautiful story that she used her talents and gifts to make and star in and now she is using her compassion, gift of communication and sheer determination to use the film as a platform for world peace...and she's not even in a beauty pageant!! (Not that she couldn't be - she's pretty darn beautiful).
Not only that but Jun Ai is actually a charity that helps children - many schools around the Far East have been built from the proceeds from this film!! It's mental!! Soooo beautiful! And as I sat there in the House of Lords I was so touched by the humanitarian spirit and generosity of all those involved...people that want to be a blessing...want to see the world become a better place...people that have used their position, wealth and heart to find the best surroundings...the best platform and most suited connections to raise both awareness and well needed funds to help someone...
Common enough in the Christian world...yes...but the reason I was touched is because faith did not even come into it...this wasn't a Christian charity but a humanitarian one (even though I realise that it is the love of God in you that drives you to be good to others whether you know Him or not)...it was people that didn't know God wanting to reach out in love!! Sometimes as Christians we can think that its only in a Christian capacity that compassion can truly be effective...but I was struck by the good will and empathy of these beautiful souls who have not yet even truly encountered a heavenly LOVE but out of what they have they gave...beautiful...beautiful...beautiful!!
Definitely a thought provoking experience for me...one I welcome...anything that humbles me and keeps my heart in check is much needed cause you know how that yucky pride creeps in if you don't keep reminding yourself of the amazing goodness in others!! If you want to find out more about this beautiful art movement and how you can donate to the JUN AI organisation contact the guys at The Wisdom Trust who are their contact in the UK...at: http://www.wisdom4all.co.uk/
In terms of life pour moi...well what can I say...it's exactly three months today since I left my job as a teacher and the joy just continues to knock me out...its scandalous...still totally on the creative flex...filling up my days with making...writing...thinking...being... loving...delicious delicious days of discovery!! The new collection should be on line soon so check out http://www.livinginlight.co.uk/ over the next few weeks to see the fun stuff I've put on there and yes feel free to go ahead and buy everything!!
xxx
Image from: http://webtaj.com
A RISKY YEAR…
For lil ol me, this has been a year all about the risk taking...Yay! I gotta say it has been a year of truly entering into a lifestyle of freedom…of living more dangerously and authentically seeking the thrill of stepping out in faith…and you know what…it has turned out to be simply yummy! Can I share just a couple of my adventures of this year with you…?
Sooo…pursuing my love of drama and joining an acting class had been a huge risk for me, trust me! Hahaha! When you have to stand up in front of people week after week and act crazy knowing that you might get laughed has totally been an adventure. Having to expose my inners acting "mad", "sad", or "glad" was not an easy feat (my fellow thespians will agree with me I'm sure!), oh but it was so darn rewarding even when I did fail!! And trust me I failed repeatedly. Lol! But the joy of coming through and growing in character and overcoming my pride, fears and anxieties was hooooooooge!! To discover that I loved acting even more than I love fashion was totally a thrill! Imagine if I'd never pursued it for risk of failure?! So much has come of it! I've opened another door of creativity in my life? Whoop whoop!! Did I become the next big star? Hardly! But am I glad I took the risk? YES! YES! YES!!
And then there was the small matter of me leaving the teaching profession after eight years. Talk about a precarious move!! Hahaha! Soooo God showed me in the summer that it was time for me to leave my job as a Secondary school teacher. So I say OKAY!!! And I handed in my resignation! Did I know where I was heading? No? Was it an easy place to leave? Again - NO!! I had tons of different roles, untold opportunities, perks and privileges and a faaaaaaaat salary…so why leave the security?? Because security is safe and does not equate destiny!! And destiny is dangerous but brings forth true adventure!! Seriously…where's the adventure in SAFE?? There's nothing courageous about the comfort zone! There's nothing razzmatazz about the rat race!! And although I have nooooooooooo idea what the future holds for me I knew I know it’s gonna be exciting!! I know I could have done it the safe way where I waited for God to bring me another job and then resigned but that's just DRY!! And so I took the plunge and I have absolutely no regrets about stepping out in faith…on the contrary it feels DELICIOUS!!!
Then there’s the greatest risk I have taken this year…walking in LOVE! I know it sounds corny!! Sick bucket purleeeeeeeeeeeeease! I don't care what you say but TRUE UNCONDITIONAL LOVING is a dangerous game because you gotta totally put yourself on the line! You have to totally expose your inners and choose to see the best in people, choose to ignore your pride, choose to not get offended, choose to get rejected, choose to forgive again and again and again and again…and then when you've been battered, bruised and broken from LOVE cause it hurts so much, you gotta keep on keeping on and love even deeper than you thought you had in you!!!! CRAZY LOVE!!
Yet despite the deep vulnerability I faced of truly yielding to walking in love it held the greatest reward of this year. There has been nothing quite like responding to evil with love, nor have I experienced anything quite as beautiful as letting love be become my heartbeat… finding that in the encounters that have come your way each day I have had the choice to let LOVE dictate my words, thoughts and actions. It has truly become a beautiful adventure. Am I saying I have always succeeded in the LOVE WALK this year? Nooooooooooooo!!! Despite my best efforts of walking in love, many a time I have instead acted like a pit-bull!! Hahahha! But that's the joy of it, knowing that I mess up everyday but being able to get back up again and again and DARING to try again!!
Sooooooooooooooo lollipops!! I don't know what your riskiest, most vulnerable battles are…but may you be free to pursue the dangerous in order to gain the truly wonderful…And may this poem speak to you like it has spoken to me…
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,
To reach out for another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self,
To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure,
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing,
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love....live.
Chained by his certitude's, he is a slave;
He has forfeited freedom,
Only a person who risks is TRULY free.
So as this year comes to a close and a new year full of possibilities, discoveries and miracles invites us to dream in a new season…I dare you to TAKE A RISK…whatever that may mean for you…x